No matter where you are on your journey through 2020, there is a pretty good chance that you’ve experienced a sense of anger and frustration. It’s an inevitable part of losing anything in life: a job or career, a loved one, or just the basic freedoms we have grown accustomed to.
Anger comes in many forms. It’s normal to become upset. Anger is a common human emotion. However, being persistently or violently angry affects not only you, but everyone around you. If you harbor anger, and let it constantly eat at your soul, it will destroy your chances at an OolaLife.
When we experience anger we often fan its flames in our mind. As we begin to feel anger, we also start to feel, or engage in, blame. Who or what is responsible for the loss?
Oftentimes, this search for somewhere to place blame leads us into a cycle of feeling angry for feeling angry, or frustrated for feeling frustrated. This is a difficult state of mind to be in. It’s exhausting. It doesn’t feel good to us or the people around us.
Whatever the negative emotion, the feelings, when they arise, have the potential to disrupt our lives and throw us off course. It’s important to have a way of stepping out of the cycle of fanning the flames of anger and frustration. We need to learn how to create the conditions for anger to subside.
But how can we deal with anger effectively?
Anger can be difficult to identify and is experienced in many different ways. For some it is a physical sensation; a tightness in the chest, shoulders, neck or jaw. Others explain anger as a feeling of pins and needles in their fingers and toes. It can also be an intangible feeling. Some call anger an emotion and not necessarily manifested as a physical sensation, while for others it’s more a sense of feeling frustrated, impatient, or irritable.
The first step in dealing with anger is to become aware of it. This sounds obvious but we aren’t always aware of our feelings. Instead, whenever an emotion is running strongly, we tend to disappear into it.
Usually, a strong conversation in the mind, around this feeling or sensation, starts. It’s easy to get caught up in it. Unfortunately, this only exacerbates the situation. It fuels the flames of anger, keeping it alive. It also takes control of the present moment.
This is how the cycle of feeling angry about being angry begins. But, as we become conscious of the momentum of anger, we are able to address the situation and stop it snowballing out of control.
Here are some steps:
Get in touch with the emotion
Focus on it
Is there a physical sensation attached to the anger
Give your attention the sensation
Sit with it and breath until the anger becomes detached from you
Identify the anger as not serving you, or others, well
Let it go
In order to understand anger, you need to spend time with it. By taking time to pause and think “I shouldn’t be feeling angry” or “I don’t want to be feeling angry” you immediately begin to resist its control.
Instead of always running away from anger, get to know it. You’ll soon see anger for what it truly is: an emotion.